How I Got My Kids To Fold Laundry (Without Whining)

By Alec Lindenauer, Chief Allowance Officer

Not so long ago, I wrote about a friend’s wonderful idea for her home that we conveniently named, The Slob Tax. 

I was reminded the other day of a story with my own children. 

When my daughters were young, we felt it was worth it to pay someone to come to our home to help clean a couple of times per week. As the kids grew and were able to be more self-sufficient, we cut that to once per week. 

As a consequence, my wife and I were doing more laundry ourselves. While folding some shirts one day, I asked my nine-year-old to help. You can imagine how well that went over.

You’d think I was asking her to pull her own fingernails out. That said, I didn't give her much context … I just demanded she help. Let’s just say her reaction, and my response, were not fun for anyone.

That night, over dinner, I thought it would be a good idea to expand the conversation. I told both my girls, "Mommy and I make decisions with our money, just like you do. We make decisions all the time, between saving, spending, investing, and donating. Mommy and I have decided to change some of our spending.” 

I went on to explain exactly how much we were paying someone to help clean, what was expected of that person, and how often they came. I then explained the change we were making, and how that changed the cost, expectations, schedule, and the added chores we were taking on ourselves.  

I then offered them a choice:

"You each have a decision to make,” I explained. You can either help us with the laundry, dishes, and cleaning, or you can pay to have this person come a extra few days each month.”

And then I drove the discussion home with, “As you know, I leave it up to you to decide how you’d like to spend your money. So I’m asking … How would you like to spend it?"

The truth is, I really didn’t know how they’d react. Perhaps they felt it was worthwhile to spend money on a housekeeper, rather than on Starbucks and pop-its. Or maybe they’d whine and complain. They were just seven and nine, after all.

To my great pleasure, they were both quick to choose helping with laundry and dishes over using their money. I did remind them, of course, that this meant help would not be tolerated if it came with whining or complaining. Even with that stipulation, they were fully on board. 

That evening, instead of them running off to their rooms after dinner, we folded laundry as a family. And without complaint! Most importantly, that tradition has held true over time. 

I’m not going to say it’s always without a complaint. They are kids, after all. But, complaints are minimal, and usually go away as soon as I re-present the offer for them to pay for a housekeeper. It truly has been a game-changer.

I know some parents will say, “Chores should be mandatory!” I agree. We have those too. 

But other chores can be leveraged as teaching tools for money lessons--a great variety of money lessons, it turns out. After all, it’s not always enough to have our kids complete chores: We also want them to do them for a good reason, and whine about it at the same time. 

Plus, it’s always fascinating to me when I watch my kids make money decisions. They continually surprise me, and mostly in good ways. 

When their money is on the line, they are most often thoughtful and measured. Isn’t that what we’re going for?

Teach cents-ibly,
Alec